I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
