i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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