It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
