2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
