just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
