If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
