I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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