well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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