sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
