I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
