I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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