Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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