how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
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I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize