You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
