I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
