So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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