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I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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