u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.