just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
