You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
