Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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