Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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