I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize