I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
