Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
