you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My feet surprised me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
