It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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