My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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