So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
