I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize