Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
