so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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