I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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