Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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