ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
