she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
