he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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