Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
