I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
