google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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