I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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