I cockslap morals
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
