dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
