Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
