Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
