I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
