yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
