How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
