I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
