Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
