u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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