Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
