I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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