Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dating After Heartbreak
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.