If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT