I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..