Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
