yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
