dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
