Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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