I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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