I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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