Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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