I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
