I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize