Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
